“Happiness lies in your own hands” – Madonna (lest, she was wrong).
Dzien dobry! This is a happy blog, my real life story and I try to tell it like that, I am so grateful for you all and for your support, but as I am so honest and open, here is today’s truth. A year ago today, my long term depression began and it’s got gradually worse despite my hard work and promotion of Polish towns. 21st July 2016 was just supposed to be a normal day on my journey – nothing new – I was simply going to visit my “friend” and write about their town, promote it, the same way I had been doing for the previous 12 years. I was then going to get my Kaliningrad visa and leave Poland. At the time I was self employed as a professional travel writer, stemming from my back catalogue on the ill-fated “Don’t Stop Living” blog. But depression kicked in and my destiny changed…
“When the smiles were genuine” – Nicky Wire.
However, that travel “friend” was unkind and lied.
None of my other tourist or travel friends had ever been that nasty to me. It was horrible. I had been totally disrespected, my business was made a fool of. I was lied to, the other tourists that they knew were told the truth, they chose to lie only to me. I couldn’t cope. I couldn’t work out why I was lied to. I continued my journey but life has never been happy since. I STILL don’t know why they lied to me, a nice, happy travel writer. I only want an admission and to know why. They must have had a reason to pick me to be the one they lied to. I was an innocent victim, a tourist only going to write another story on my journey. Nothing else.
The only positive I can see now from this is that after seeing psychologists and psychiatrists in the aftermath, I decided to stay in Poland and with that, I made a wise choice. I have a nice new life in Poland, this new blog and some of the best friends I have ever and will ever meet. Each day though, I pray and pray that they will finally admit and apologise to me for a string of nasty lies aimed to humiliate me and destroy what was once a nice travel blog.
Life must go on, and daily I fight against depression and suicide. But I am so grateful for the new friends I have made, my countless Polish media appearances (Radio, newspaper, magazine, online and TV to come) and this website, I am proud of.
#oneyearago #depression #tourist #suicidebid #staystrong #poland #kochampolske #gdansk #dontstopliving